Now, as to your remark about computers....That's just it, Yamato DID have a computer (of sorts) back then. The principal (I still think of him as "Chucky-Baby") co-opted a bunch of The Tree people (meaning the VERY unoffical smoking area by the Yamato church)
just to show us who was boss and to make us find out what real work was all about (sneer goes here). We had to take school records and fill in computer punch cards to ID student report cards which would then tell the very-primitive IBM something-frame what grades went where. I had a girl-friend at the time (Edited) whose very-best-friend-in-the-Universe-and-everywhere-else(trademark goes here) was Lorraine Woodward. As the story usually goes, that one and I never saw
things in quite the same color or logic. So when her records ended up in my
pile (I deny trading with someone else, always have, always will. Murphy was
with me that day, I've always said... click click reset) of "to do"....her records ended up reading "Woody" Woodward
In 1968 I was a lifeguard at the Airmans pool on the east side. A friend of mine was being a pain in the butt, in that he thought it was funny to take my dry clothes out of the locker room and throw them in the water, Ha Ha, after a few times of me doing things to him, which I won't
say.....I decided to find his dry clothes and throw them in the water. I watched him drop them in a basket and put them in the locker area, I went in after about 10 min and took them out to the pool area and held them up so he could see them, and drop them in one piece at a time. He came running up
looked in the water and started laughing, I had thrown in the wrong clothes, needless to say a young airman saw it and came up to find out they were his clothes that were floating in the shallow end of the pool. After telling him how sorry I was, and hoping he would not throw me over the fence, I gave him money to get them cleaned and bought him lunch from the bowling alley across the street.
I have been laughing with tears at your entry for the memories it brought back. The Tea House and whiskey sours; Tom Alvarado (how did I remember that name? Anyone know where Tom is?) mooning one and all on a trek back from the Tea House one night; climbing over the wall to get off-base and then drunkenly trying to climb back on-base; ahhh ~ Akadama; parties at Lisa's (some pleasant/some not); Norwegian Wood; "borrowing" a stop sign (pole and all) from somewhere in American Village; I still may have, the BIOLOGY sign that had once hung over the door to the Biology Lab at YHS (hmmm...now where would I have put that?); sneaking out of my house (THE ONE AND ONLY TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE) to go back to a party at Steve Seath's ~ and by the time I got there (it must have taken me 4 hours to get out of the house, trying to get the damn dog to stop yipping [picture me crawling on my hands and knees through the house, falling flat at every creak and sound], dodging APs and running in the shadows), everyone was passed out or gone; trips to Shinjuki on the train; YHS football games and riding on the team bus (being a majorette did have its perks); dances at the Teen Club; the day Tom Lang (I have a picture of him carrying the ball against Chofu ~ the tackler was none other than the love of my life, Bill Bentley) chased me with a snake; rice and gravy at the BX snack bar; sneaking into the (I believe) NCO pool ~ heck may have been all three at one time or another. I can hardly wait to get to Vegas. This is going so much fun. Just think of all we've "forgotten" that I'm sure someone will be kind enough to "remind" us of (lol).
December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching
the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses
Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!
December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14: Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway And sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. l didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my rear end on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like you can't believe. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. That dumb snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying.
December 21: Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crud fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to use the bathroom. By the time I got undressed, went, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I'm sure he is lying.
December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a gun who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his ears. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for that snowplow.
December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the miserable slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to scream!
December 26: Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28: Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE B***CH is driving me crazy!!!!!
December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches of snow predicted.
December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
Moses's account of the creation in the book of Genesis is so familiar and so entrenched in our cultural heritage that many accept as actual historic fact the assertion that Woman was created from one of Adam's ribs. Science has railed against such simple beliefs for centuries; last week, at a dig in the escarpments along the western shore of the Dead Sea, archaeologists have uncovered ancient, original texts that pre-date Moses' writings by 1300 years. Translated, their account of life's beginnings on earth are much more scientifically plausible...
"...and God created Woman, giving her three breasts to succor her young."
And God spoke, saying to her, "I have created thee as I see fit, but mine is no longer the only opinion in the universe (sigh). Is there anything about thee that thou wouldst prefer differently?"
And Woman spoke, saying, "Lord, I am not made to birth whole litters; I need but two breasts."
And God said, "Thou speakest wisely, as I have created thee with wisdom."
There was a crack of lightning and a lingering odor of ozone, and it was done, and Woman stood holding her third breast in her hand. "Now just what am I gonna do with this useless boob?", Woman exclaimed.
And so it was, that God created Man.
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